Is this gonna help you decide, America?
Do not turn off the camera!
You’ve seen how quickly I can kill.
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Russell Edgington, and I have been a vampire for nearly three thousand years. Now, the American Vampire League wishes to perpetrate the notion that we are just like you. And, I suppose, in the few small ways we are. We are narcissists; we care only about getting what we want, no matter what it costs, just like you: global warming, perpetual war, toxically waste, child labor, torture, genocide. That’s a small price to pay for your SUVs and your flat screen TVs, your blood diamonds, your designer jeans, your absurd McMansions!
Futile symbols of permanence to quell your quiver and spineless souls.
But no. In the end, we are nothing like you. We are… immortal. Because we drink the true blood. Blood that is living, organic and human. And that is the truth. The AVL wishes to conceal from you, because… let’s face it. Eating people are hard to sell these days. So they put on their friendly faces to pass their beloved DRA but… make no mistake! Mine is the true face of vampires!
Why would we seek equal rights? You are not our equals. We will eat you after we eat your children.
Now, time for the weather. Tiffany?
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